


Unsinkable

by Sulli (Cas_Dean_and_Sammy)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom Castiel, Depression, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Poor Dean, RMS Titanic, Rich Castiel, Secret Relationship, Suicide Attempt, Titanic AU, Top Dean, non supernatural au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:14:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2598365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_Dean_and_Sammy/pseuds/Sulli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April 10, 1912. The Titanic sets sail on her maiden voyage. Castiel Novak, a wealthy, but depressed young man is on board. When he meets Dean Winchester, the cheeky green-eyed man turns his life around and teaches him how to live. Nobody expects the tragedy that will befall them just five days later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel Novak was not happy. He felt bad about it, because he knew there were people out there who would kill to be in his shoes, however, he couldn't help but pout as he sat down on the large bed in his mother's suite. 

"Isn't this great, Castiel? The ship is amazing. So beautiful. And huge, too! I can't wait until we get back so I can tell everyone that I rode on the RMS Titanic. They'll be so jealous," Naomi, his mother, said cheerily as she bent down in front of the elegant dresser to unpack her bags. 

Castiel sighed and flopped on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wishing he was anywhere but on this stupid ship. Castiel had recently gotten engaged to the beautiful and wealthy, Meg Masters. Her parents were the executives of a huge company, and when Castiel married into the family, it meant that the Novaks would get in on the wealth. It didn't matter that he didn't actually love Meg, or that he couldn't care less for riches and money. His mother and siblings had guilted him into proposing, saying he needed to stop being selfish, and start thinking about what's best for the family. To celebrate their engagement, Meg's family paid for everyone to go overseas to England for a few weeks. Castiel had to admit, the trip was nice. He loved to travel, and he'd never been out of the country before. The part that annoyed him was having to act so fake around his fiancée. He had to pretend he was infatuated with her, when really, every time they kissed he felt sick to his stomach. Now he felt even worse. For the journey back to America, the Masters family had bought everyone tickets for the cruise ship, Titanic. It was a monster, a gargantuan beast that seemed way ahead of its time. Of course, everyone was in first class, and while the rooms were gorgeous, Castiel just couldn't appreciate it. 

Naomi frowned and stood back up, folding her arms over her chest and giving her son a stern look. "Why aren't you in your own room unpacking?"

Castiel groaned and closed his eyes. "Because Meg is in there. She's trying my patience."

Naomi shook her head and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I want you to go to your room and help Meg unpack. You're not being very courteous, leaving her in there all alone."

With a heavy, melodramatic sigh, Castiel sat up and ran his fingers through his dark hair. "Fine."

Naomi smiled triumphantly and stood up, walking over to the dresser to continue unpacking. "That's more like it. Oh, and everyone's meeting in the dining saloon for dinner at seven o'clock, on the dot. Don't be late."

Castiel nodded, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. He leaned against the door once it was closed, burying his face in his hands. God, what was he doing with his life? He was young, only twenty-five, and he was throwing away his life by marrying a woman he didn't love. It suddenly struck him that he would be spending the rest of his years with Meg, who made him want to rip his hair out on a daily basis. At that thought, he had to suck in a deep breath to keep from panicking. Of course, they could get divorced, but that would cause a lot of unwanted drama, and Castiel's family would definitely be upset about losing money. Castiel took another deep breath. He couldn't believe this was what his life was turning out to be. 

A few minutes later, he entered his own suite that he shared with Meg. Sometimes, Castiel wondered if she was putting on an act for her family as well. When the couple was around others, they acted all lovey-dovey and sickly sweet, but when they were alone, all they did was gripe at each other.

"Where were you?" Meg asked, not looking up from where she was hanging up her dresses neatly in the closet. 

Castiel rolled his eyes and walked past her, moving to flop down on the bed in the same position he'd been in before. "I was talking to my mother." 

"What about?" Meg asked, turning around now to face Castiel. This was another trait of hers that annoyed Castiel to no end. She cared too much about everyone else's business. So if she found out that two people were talking, she would automatically assume that it's some juicy gossip. And though in this case it wasn't anything like that, Castiel wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing. Just as a little childish dig at her.

Castiel shrugged and smirked slightly. "Doesn't matter. Nothing for you to know about."

Meg frowned and turned her back to Castiel again, scowling. "All you ever do is lay around and sulk. You're so dull," she replied as a jab at him for not telling her what the conversation was about. 

"Am I? Pity." Castiel closed his eyes, clasping his hands on his stomach.

Meg pinched the bridge of her nose in stress. "Why are you so bitter? And don't forget, we have dinner in an hour." She paused, turning around to look at Castiel's outfit. "Are you wearing that?" 

Castiel opened one eye and peered at Meg. "Uh, yes. I was planning on it."

Meg tsked a few times, shaking her head once more. "No you're not. I'll pick something out for you." 

Castiel stood up and walked over to his own suitcase, bending down and unzipping it. "I'm an adult. I think I can pick out my own clothes, thanks," he muttered, pulling out a plain white shirt and some black slacks. 

"Whatever. But at least do something to your hair. It looks a mess," Meg stated, making a face at Castiel. 

Castiel just sighed, still rummaging through his bag for his jacket and tie. 

"Castiel, can I ask you something?" Meg inquired, eyebrows furrowed as she looked over at her future husband. 

Castiel nodded, standing up straight and turning to face her. "What is it?"

Meg folded her arms over her chest, and Castiel tried his hardest to read her expression. It was so hard to tell with her, as she usually spoke in the same monotone and rarely showed any visible emotion. "Do you love me?" She finally asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Because it doesn't seem like you do. You never show any affection towards me unless we're around our families. How do you think that makes me feel?" 

Castiel frowned. He hadn't been expecting that. Now he really did feel bad, and guilty too. It wasn't Meg's fault this was happening to him, and Castiel should at least try to be a little kinder to her. If they were going to be married, he might as well make the best of it. He opened his mouth to reply, then quickly closed it again. He didn't love her. At all. But it wasn't like he could tell her that. He had to lie, just like he had to lie about everything else in their relationship. Castiel sighed heavily and walked over to her, taking both her hands in his. "Honey, of course I love you." He smiled, though he was feeling disgusted with himself. 

Meg smiled, one hand moving up to cup Castiel's cheek as she leaned in to peck his lips. "Good. Now hurry up and get ready, I want to be down there early." 

Castiel forced himself to smile again before sighing to himself and going back to his bag.

Almost an hour later, Meg still wasn't ready. Funny, Castiel thought. She'd been on his back to make sure he was ready ahead of time, yet she wasn't ready herself. Castiel was slumped down in the chair near the door, elbow on the armrest and chin resting in his hand. "We're going to be late!" He called in the direction of the bathroom. 

Finally, Meg stepped out of the bathroom and did a little twirl which almost made Castiel roll his eyes. "How do I look?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. Meg was wearing a long, all-white dress with black lace at the hem, on the sleeves, and the collar. Her hair was curled and held back with a thick white headband. 

"Beautiful," Castiel answered quickly, standing up and dusting off his slacks. "Now can we go? If we don't leave now we'll be the last ones there." 

Meg frowned at Castiel's attire. "Why don't you wear the nice black tie I got you in London? The blue one doesn't match at all." 

Castiel furrowed his brow and looked down at his own outfit. "It's fine." He wasn't about to change into something else, especially when they were alreadly behind schedule. 

"No, I think you should change, because then you'll match me better," she decided, nodding to herself as she walked over to Castiel's bag and began to root around his bag for the tie. 

Castiel sighed, walking over to her and grabbing her wrists to still them. "Meg, darling, we don't want to be late."

Meg's shoulders slumped and she nodded reluctantly. "Fine." 

Castiel pursed his lips. "Good. Let's go." 

Meg grabbed her purse before following Castiel to the door and walking out into the hallway. "Who all will be there?" She asked after a while, heels clicking on the floor as they walked. 

"Everyone," Castiel replied, nodding. "Your parents, my mother, and the two of us." 

"Oh." Meg fell silent for a moment. "My father is not very fond of you, y'know. He doesn't think you're good enough for me. I'd like you to at least try to get on his good side tonight...act like you care." 

Castiel bit down on his tongue to keep from saying something he would regret later. He knew that Azazel, Meg's father, didn't like him much at all. He wouldn't be bothered by it, except the man always ridiculed and made a spectacle of him whenever they were around each other. And now, Meg was asking him to suck up to the guy? Not happening. It was enough for him to have to pretend he was in love, he didn't need any more faking in his life at the moment. 

"Here we are," Meg said once they reached the top of the stairs that led down to the dining saloon. "Hold out your arm." 

"I know what to do," Castiel muttered under his breath, holding his arm out so Meg could grab onto his upper arm right above the crook of his elbow. 

Meg either didn't hear his remark, or she pretended to ignore it, because she just continued to talk. "Chin up. Don't look so glum. Smile for once," she chastised, using her free hand to tap Castiel's chin. "I want to make a good impression."

"Right." Castiel sighed. Smiling was hard these days, because he didn't really have anything he wanted to smile about. But still, he pulled the most sincere smile he could and slowly began to walk down the polished stairs. He glanced over at Meg for a moment, and she was obviously loving the attention. It seemed like she was taking even heavier steps than usual, her heels click-clacking on the shiny, hard stairs as she walked, just so she could draw attention to herself. Castiel exhaled deeply and reminded himself that he needed to try and focus on the good things about Meg, as hard as that would be. 

As they descended, Castiel took the time to observe his surroundings. His mother was right, the ship was magnificent. It was regal, and everything was new and pristine, as this was the maiden voyage. Castiel should've felt lucky and ecstatic to be able to travel on such a ship, but all he could feel was regret and sadness for what his life was becoming. 

When they reached the bottom of the staircase, Meg took a moment to just stand there, wanting everyone else in the room to get a good look at her. Castiel almost wanted to tell her that no one cared, but be held his tongue and let her do as she pleased. Soon enough, they began walking again, towards the dining saloon. Castiel couldn't help but widen his eyes when he saw it. It was gigantic, larger than he could possibly describe, with a multitude of tables and chairs about. It was divine. Even he couldn't deny that. 

"They're over there, I see," Meg's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and followed her gaze to a large table on the left side of the huge room, where their family was. They were late. Of course. Meg waved to them with a radiant grin, and then the two of them made their way over to the table to join the rest of their party. 

Once they got there, Castiel pulled out Meg's chair for her and allowed her to sit before he took a seat himself. "We apologize for our lateness," he said politely, unfolding his napkin and lying it across his lap. 

Naomi was sitting on the other side of the table, and she sighed and shook her head. "I did say seven o'clock. I should've known you would've been late anyway." 

"Tardiness is not very becoming in a young man, Castiel," Meg's mother, Josie, said, raising her eyebrows. 

Castiel clenched his teeth, and it took all of his willpower not to blurt out that it was Meg who caused them to be late. Meg must've realized this herself, because she reached under the table and placed a hand on Castiel's knee. 

"It's alright," Meg said with a small, convincing smile. "I'll make sure he gets ready faster next time." 

Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily. It was going to be a long night. 

"Well, the waiter already came by, so we just ordered the same thing for everybody," Josie added.

Meg smiled again, moving her hand away from Castiel's knee. "I'm sure whatever you ordered is fine." 

Castiel hated this. He hated the sugary sweet act Meg put on when she was around her parents. This was so opposite of her true personality, it was almost comical. He needed a smoke. Castiel reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack, grabbing his lighter as well and bringing the cigarette up to his lips after he lit it. 

"What are you doing?" Naomi asked, horrified. 

Castiel held the cigarette between two fingers and pulled it away from his mouth, raising his eyebrows and looking around. He didn't see why his mother was acting so shocked now. "What?" 

"We are on a nice ship. No one wants to smell your cigarette smoke while they eat. Plus, I've been hearing rumors that those things aren't very healthy for you," Azazel, Meg's father, remarked, shaking his head in disappointment. 

Meg quickly plucked the cigarette out of Castiel's grip and blotted it out on a napkin as she laughed nervously. "You know better, Castiel." 

Azazel nodded. "See, the problem is, he didn't have a father growing up. He never got the firm hand, the paternal influence he needed..." He continued talking, but Castiel blocked the rest of it out. He didn't want or need to hear any more. He swallowed hard and rested his elbow on the table, hand pressed to his forehead. It seriously felt like everyone was out to get him. Every little thing he did was wrong. 

"Elbows off the table- " Azazel started, but Castiel cut him off. 

"Alright, that's it," he said, pushing away from the table and standing up. He couldn't keep doing this, couldn't keep living a lie. There was obviously no backing out now. He needed some time away, away from everybody. He just needed to think. Castiel shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, clenching his fists before turning on his heel and hurriedly walking out of the dining saloon. He only caught the last part of Azazel's, "He's a sensitive one, isn't he?" before he was out of earshot and quickly walking away. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to go somewhere away from them. His steps grew swifter the farther away he walked, until he was almost jogging. Castiel kept going until he reached the deck. He looked around. There was no one else in sight. The sun had set and the lights were dim. Castiel took a deep breath and walked to the railing, peering over the edge. The water was black and loud as it hit the sides of the ship, and it looked so alluring, like it was calling to him. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose and nodded to himself. He was making the right choice. What else did he have to live for? Castiel honestly could not think of something or someone worth staying alive for. All of his pain, all of the pretending and all of the lies, it would all be over if he could just follow through. He hadn't planned for this to happen, he really hadn't. But the situation had presented himself and so here he was. It was meant to be. 

Castiel ignored the pounding of his heart and the sweat dripping down his forehead as he swung one leg over the railing, head swimming as he looked at the ocean below. It was a long way down. All of this seemed a lot more real now that he knew he was actually going to do it. He swung his other leg over as well and felt his breathing pick up pace. His vice-like grip on the railing was the only thing keeping him there. Castiel could feel his palms start to get sweaty, and he began to panic, sitting atop the railing. Did he really want to do this? Couldn't he just go back and break up with Meg? End the whole arrangement? He thought about that for a moment before shaking his head. No. No, then his family would shun him for the rest of his life. His family was all he had. That wouldn't work. This was the only option.

Castiel closed his eyes and tried to calm down as he began a countdown in his head. Just jump, he thought to himself. Just let go, and it'll all be over. 

When he was just seconds away from ending his life, Castiel felt two hands wrap around his waist. He was startled and gasped, his hands losing purchase on the railing for a moment, and if it hadn't been for the person grabbing him aroud the waist, he would've fallen anyway. 

"What are you doing? Get down from there!" The voice - a man's voice - ordered. The voice sounded frantic and desperate, but Castiel still shook his head. 

"Leave me alone," Castiel replied, his voice sounding calmer and more collected than he'd expected it to. "Go away, or I'll do it. I'll jump." 

Instead of releasing him like he'd expected, Castiel just felt the hands tighten around him. "No. I'm not gonna do that," the voice said. Castiel swallowed hard. Funny how much he was doubting himself now that someone was trying to get him to stay. "Just come down, alright?" The voice sounded shaky. "Come back down and let me help you." 

"Help me?" Castiel laughed bitterly. "You can't help me. You don't even know me." 

The voice was quiet for a brief moment. "Right. Okay, so maybe I can't help you. But I can try." He paused. "I want to talk to you. But I'm not going to do it like this. Please, just..." He sighed. "You need to calm down." 

"Calm down? Are you seriously telling me to calm down?" Castiel nearly shouted, his heart beating so loudly he was surprised the man couldn't hear it. 

"Alright, bad choice of words," the voice replied, sounding more despairing than ever. "How about this. Give me five minutes to talk to you, and if you still want to...do this, then I won't stop you."

Castiel paused, his hands becoming more sweaty and slippery as time passed. "You sound pretty confident in yourself then. If you're so sure that you can change my mind, then why don't you just do it now?"

The man sighed and ignored his question. "Five minutes." 

Castiel thought about that. Five minutes. He looked down at the churning water again and felt a twist in his gut at the thought of hitting it. "Fine." He took a deep breath before nodding. "Okay." 

"Thank God," the man said, relief flooding his voice as he slowly pulled Castiel back over onto the deck. 

Castiel's legs were wobbly once they hit the floor, and he felt shaky and faint, like he was going to be sick. Castiel didn't get a good look at the man, because his eyes rolled back and his knees gave out. 

The man quickly grabbed Castiel under the arms, hoisting him back up to a standing position. "Deep breaths, okay?" 

Castiel nodded half-heartedly, breathing heavily until his vision cleared and he got the first look at the man who literally pulled him back from the brink of death. His gaze locked onto piercing green eyes, and that was the last thing he remembered before he blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm coming back to this story! You can expect updates about every week (most of the time). I have so many ideas for this fic and I can't wait to keep writing. Also, please check out another fic of mine, 'That Mouth,' because I'm taking prompts and requests on there! You can read more about that in the notes of that fic. Thanks for reading this and enjoy the update!

Castiel awoke with a start. He sat up in bed - not his bed - and looked around, trying not to panic. He didn't recognize any of his surroundings. There were two pairs of bunk beds in the small room, and it wasn't fancy or elegant or anything. There was no way they were still on the Titanic. Once his head stopped spinning, Castiel was able to make out two men in the room. One very large, very tall man with long hair was sitting on the bunk across from him, reading a book. The other was sitting on the bed above that one, legs dangling off the side as he scribbled on a sheet of paper. Castiel's breathing picked up speed and he swallowed hard. "Where am I? Who are you?" He stood up hurriedly and began to stumble towards the door. He didn't recognize those men, but something was familiar about the smaller one. That's when he remembered. His suicide attempt, and a man who stopped him. He wracked his brain, but couldn't remember much else. 

"Woah, woah," the smaller man said, hopping down from the top bunk and walking over to Castiel. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just sit down, alright? You've been out for a while."

Those eyes. Those candy-apple green eyes. He recognized this guy. "I-I have to find my family," he muttered, but walked back to the bed and sat down. 

The larger man looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. "He's awake." 

"Yeah, finally," Green-Eyes said, sitting next to Castiel and sighing heavily. "I was starting to worry."

Castiel was so confused. He had so many questions, and he felt hungry and tired and weak. "How long...?" he asked, pressing a hand to his forehead. 

"Well, it's midnight now, and Dean brought you here around eight, so I'd say about four hours," the taller man stated with a shrug. 

Dean. Green-Eyes' name was Dean. Okay. "Wait." Castiel furrowed his brow and shook his head. "How did I even get here? Last I remember, I was on the deck."

Dean chuckled. "I carried you."

"You carried me?" Castiel asked in disbelief, his cheeks pinking a little from embarrassment. 

"Well...yeah. I couldn't just leave you laying there," Dean answered casually. 

Castiel jaw dropped and his eyes narrowed slightly. "Couldn't you have just taken me to the infirmary or something?" He blushed a little more when another thought crossed his mind. "D-Did anyone see?" He asked cautiously. "That might've looked...questionable."

Dean sighed heavily and stood up again. "Maybe, I don't know. I panicked, okay? I'd just witnessed a guy try to kill himself, and then the guy passed out. My first thought was to take you back here. Sorry."

Castiel sighed as well and pressed a hand to his forehead. "No, I'm sorry. I apologize for my behavior - I'm just...a little out of sorts right now. I should be thanking you."

"That's alright," Dean said, walking over to Castiel and placing a firm hand on his back. "How're you feeling?" 

Castiel shrugged and sighed again. He was still trying to wrap his head around everything. "I've got an awful headache," he said, groaning and trying to ignore the pounding in his head. 

Dean frowned slightly. "You should lay down again." 

Castiel was about to agree, but then he remembered. "Thank you - um - " He couldn't remember his name. 

"Dean." The man finished for him, nodding. 

"Okay, thank you Dean. But I must go. My family is waiting, and my fiancée is probably worried sick." He frowned deeply as he thought of what he was supposed to tell Meg. 

Dean raised both eyebrows in apparent surprise. "Your fiancée? You're supposed to be getting married?" 

Castiel was a little offended by the skeptical tone in his voice, so he furrowed his brow and nodded slowly. "Yes..." 

Dean quickly realized his mistake because he changed his tone and gave Castiel a small smile. "I just find it strange that you would want to end your life right before you tied the knot." 

Castiel sighed heavily. He did not feel like having this conversation with a man he barely knew. "It's complicated."

Dean stared at Castiel for a moment before running his fingers through his hair and sighing heavily. "Sam," he said, looking at the taller man who was still engrossed in his book. "Will you go to one of the washrooms and get a handtowel, run it under cool water and then bring it back here?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"Yeah," Sam said, hopping down from the top bunk and giving Castiel a little smile before he left.

"You don't have your own bathrooms?" Castiel asked, looking around the small room once more. No, he didn't see any bathrooms. 

Dean shook his head, sitting back down beside Castiel and shrugging. "Nope."

"Oh." Castiel frowned, feeling a little embarrassed and rude for asking. He cleared his throat and rubbed his sweaty palms on his thighs, trying to find a way to change the subject. "Sam...he's your friend?"

"My little brother," Dean corrected him with a fond smile. "But I'd say we're pretty good friends too." 

Castiel raised an eyebrow at that. "Little?" He chuckled softly and shook his head. "I assumed you were younger."

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "You're not the first one to think that. So, what about you? Any siblings?"

Castiel huffed and couldn't help but chuckle softly at the question. "Too many. Four brothers, and three sisters."

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise just as Sam reentered the room, a wrung-out cloth in his grasp. 

"Here ya go," he said, tossing the cloth to Dean before climbing back onto the top bunk with his beloved book. 

Dean nodded in thank you, taking the cool, damp cloth and pressing it to Castiel's forehead. "My mom used to do this for Sammy and me when we got fevers. I don't know if it works for headaches, but I guess we'll find out," he said, giving Castiel a small smile and looking into those deep cobalt eyes as he continued to dab at the man's forehead.

"Oh. Thank you," Castiel replied, staring right back at Dean and feeling his heart-rate increase a little. 

"No problem," Dean replied, smiling a little as he pressed the cloth against Castiel's forehead. "Did I ever get your name?"

Castiel blushed a little and shook his head, still staring at Dean. "Oh, I'm sorry. How rude of me. I'm Castiel Novak." 

Dean smiled and set the cloth aside before standing up and holding out a hand to help Cas up. "Well, Castiel, I don't know if I'm overstepping my bounds by doing this, but I know that when I feel like shit, the one thing that makes me feel better is having someone to talk to. So, wanna talk? I'm a really good listener I swear."

Castiel was a little surprised at the offer, and he froze for a moment before he gathered the strength to reply. "Oh. Uh, yes, I guess. That would be nice." He took Dean's hand and stood up, dusting himself off before glancing at the man again. 

***

"It's so beautiful up here this late at night," Castiel said, gazing at his surroundings, a small smile on his face. He and Dean were on the deck, talking and just walking around. "I was so upset when I was up here earlier, I didn't even notice. But it is truly gorgeous."

Dean looked up and smiled as well, nodding in agreement. There was a short moment of comfortable silence before Dean spoke up again. "I'm listening, Cas. Whatever you need to say, just let it out."

Castiel nodded and stayed silent for a moment before he looked over at Dean, staring directly into his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but you don't even know me. Why are you helping me?" Castiel asked, biting his lip.

"Well..." Dean started to answer, rubbing his hands together and shrugging. "I guess I just know how you feel." He paused for a moment and smirked a little. "The fact that you're extremely handsome might be a little encouraging too." 

Castiel blushed deeply and his eyes widened as he stared at Dean for a moment. "Oh. Oh...okay," he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

Dean frowned. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." 

"Oh! Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. Completely fine. We're good. You're good. I mean - " Castiel's blush deepened as he stumbled over his words. 

Dean chuckled softly and ran his fingers through his hair. "So, uh, tell me about this fiancée of yours." 

Castiel sighed in relief, cursing himself for being so damn awkward. He was grateful that Dean changed the subject. "Well, uh, I got engaged a while back. Her name's Meg. She's - uh - really pretty. And her family...um...they've got a lot of money...and my mom and siblings thought it would be a good idea if I married her and got in on the wealth."

"Ah, I see," Dean said, sticking his thumbs into the pockets of his worn, brown pants. "And you don't love her?" 

Castiel groaned in frustration and looked up at the black sky, closing his eyes. "I don't - I don't know. No. I guess not."

Dean nodded and thought about that for a moment before furrowing his brow and looking over at Cas. "Well, why don't you break up with her? You're clearly not happy. I mean, you tried to kill yourself..." Dean trailed off and cleared his throat, his cheeks pinking slightly and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Sorry. Too soon." 

"Uh, yeah. Too soon. And it's complicated, Dean. I'm backed into a corner. My family will hate me if I break up with her. It's just not worth it." Cas replied, biting his lip. He liked Dean. Kind of. He was cheeky, funny, somewhat annoying and a little childish, but it worked on him somehow. "Your turn. Tell me what I need to know about you." 

Dean took a seat on a bench and patted the spot beside him, gesturing for Cas to join. "Well, there's not much to know, honestly. I'm twenty three, I got a nineteen year old brother named Sammy, I like to draw, and I know a lot about music and cars. Cars especially. Maybe I'll have one of my own someday," Dean said whimsically, leaning back on the bench.

"You don't have a car?" Castiel asked, brow furrowed before he cleared his throat. "I'm so sorry. I realize that I must sound very stuck up to you," Castiel said quietly, his face flushed.

Dean just laughed softly and shrugged. "It's alright. I get it. People like you ain't used to being around people like me. You don't really know how to act," he said casually.

Castiel blushed furiously and placed a hand lightly on Dean's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I feel rude."

Dean looked down at the hand, and then at Cas. "I wasn't accusing you of anything. It's just a fact. I feel the same way when I'm around rich folk like you," he said with a chuckle. "Sometimes I feel like you all speak a different language." 

Cas laughed as well, his hand still on Dean's shoulder. "Well, we're not /that/ different, Dean. We are both humans, after all." 

Dean turned around fully to face Cas on the bench, raising an bemused eyebrow at Cas and smiling a little. "You're a funny guy, Cas." 

Castiel smiled and was about to reply, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw two people marching towards them at full speed. He narrowed his eyes to see who it was, and when he did, he groaned and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Oh no." 

"What? What is it?" Dean asked. 

Castiel sighed heavily and gestured to the woman who was steadily getting closer and closer. She was accompanied by a man whom Cas could only assume was her father, Azazel. "It's my fiancée. It's Meg."


	3. Chapter 3

"Castiel! Oh my goodness!" Meg exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Castiel in a smothering hug. "I was so worried about you! Where have you been all this time?" 

Castiel sighed heavily and pulled away from the hug, standing up and shrugging. He really did not want to have this conversation right now, especially not with Azazel standing right beside Meg, looking at Cas as if he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. 

"I'm very disappointed in you, Castiel," Azazel said, stepping in front of Meg and furrowing his brows at the dark haired boy. "You have no idea how worried Meg has been, and now you're acting like you don't even care." 

Meg nodded in agreement, a frown on her face. "And who's this? He doesn't look like he belongs on the first class deck," Meg said, looking Dean up and down. 

Cas gave Dean an apologetic look, but Dean was unfazed. He simply smiled and stood up, taking Meg's hand and leaning down to press his lips to the back of it. "Dean Winchester. It's nice to meet you." 

"Hm," Meg huffed, pulling her hand away before turning her attention back to Castiel. "You have a lot of explaining to do." 

Cas took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and groaning in frustration. He couldn't tell Meg what really happened. He just couldn't. Cas had never really been good at thinking on the spot, and he could feel his cheeks start to heat up and his palms begin to sweat. "Um, well, after I left dinner, I needed some air, so I came up here to look at the water. I was leaning over the railing to see...to see the - um - the dolphins - "

Meg raised her eyebrows. "Dolphins? Really?" 

"Yes. Quite funny, right?" He paused for a moment, rubbing his hands together. "I leaned too far over, and I would've gone overboard if it wasn't for Dean here," Castiel said with a smile, blushing softly and gesturing to Dean.

"Oh. I'm glad you're okay then." Meg frowned, turning her skeptical gaze to Dean, but still speaking to Cas. "Well, you were gone for nearly five hours. What have you been doing all this time?" 

Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. "I was talking to Dean. I didn't want to come back yet." 

"Oh," Meg repeated, raising an eyebrow. "What were you talking about? Tell me. I want to know." 

Castiel rolled his eyes and stomped his foot in frustration. He didn't like to shout at Meg, he really, really didn't. But sometimes he just couldn't control his temper. "We were just /talking/! Good God! Do you really have to keep me on such a short leash? I'm an adult, you shouldn't have to know everything I say and do all the time!" 

Meg's jaw dropped and Azazel stepped in front of her, his eyes set on Castiel like daggers. "We will be talking about this later," Azazel said before turning to look at Dean. "Thank you again for your assistance tonight, young man."

"Yes, thank you." Meg stepped out from behind her father and nodded in agreement, pulling a five dollar bill from her purse and tucking it not-so-subtly into Dean's pocket. "That should cover it." 

Dean frowned and pulled the bill out of his pocket again, handing it back to Meg. "Cover what? I don't want your money." 

Meg chuckled softly. "It always stuns me how you people are brought up. You never learn about things like this." She smiled at Dean. "Take the money, so we'll be even. You do something for us, and we do something for you. That's how it works." 

Castiel glared at Meg, clenching his teeth together. "Five dollars? That's all you're going to give to the man who saved my life?"

"Fine." Meg huffed, returning Castiel's glare and folding her arms over her chest. "I'll invite you to come to dinner with us tomorrow. Seven o'clock in the dining saloon. Don't be late," Meg said, pursing her lips before turning on her heel and walking away. 

Azazel shook his head and tsked at Castiel before turning to follow Meg.

As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, Dean turned to Cas and chuckled dryly. "No offense, but I see why you don't love her." 

Castiel's mouth fell open and he tilted his head to the side, furrowing his brow at Dean. "You're really rude, you know that? You're so rude and you don't even know it." He shook his head at Dean before he began to walk away and follow the others.

"Well, who's being the rude one now? No good-bye? No good-night? I'm surprised at you."

Castiel stopped in his tracks and turned around, laughing despite the fact that all he really wanted to do was slap Dean in the face. "Good night to you, Mr. Winchester." 

Dean smirked at that, tipping his hat to Castiel. "Now that's more like it, Mr. Novak."

Cas slept surprisingly well that night. 

***  
Castiel couldn't stop thinking about Dean's stupid face. His stupid face, and his stupid freckles, and his stupid green eyes. And he felt bad about it, because in the midst of all his thinking, he was completely ignoring Meg. She wanted to have a nice, one-on-one lunch with him, and Cas was not paying the slightest bit of attention to her. 

"So, then Lily tried to tell me that she had the dress first. Which is completely false, because I purchased the dress before it was even available in stores. I got a special deal. She is truly the worst. Don't you agree, Castiel?" She paused and snapped her fingers in front of Cas's face. "Castiel? Cas? Goodness, are you hearing a word I'm saying?" Meg asked with a heavy sigh, shaking her head. 

Castiel sighed as well and blinked a few times, jolted from his thoughts. "No, yes, darling, I'm listening. You were telling me about you and your friend Lily, and how, um..." he trailed off, biting his lip and rubbing his palms on his thighs. 

Meg rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Lily is /not/ my friend. You never listen to anything that comes out of my mouth. You don't care about me." 

Castiel frowned and reached across the table, grabbing Meg's hands and holding them softly. He felt bad. He really did. It wasn't Meg's fault that he was in this position. She probably didn't even know that he and his family were only doing this for the money. It was so immoral and wrong, and he could only blame himself. "I'm sorry." 

"Oh, are you?" Meg said, yanking her hands away and standing up. "I know you're unhappy, Castiel. I can see it. I can /feel/ it. What I don't know, is why. What's the reason? Do you know how many people would love to be in your position?" She asked, her face reddening. "For goodness' sake, you won't even - " her voice cracked and her chin began to wobble. "You won't even touch me in bed." 

Castiel stood up as well and walked over to Meg, his eyes filled with sympathy. He was a terrible person. He was a bad person, all around. He didn't know how to deal with his problems, all he knew how to do was run away from them. He sniffed and placed his hands softly on Meg's shoulders. "My love. You're right. I am unhappy. But it has...it has nothing to do with you," Castiel lied, trying to smile. 

Meg clenched her jaw and shook her head. "Then tell me, what is it?"

Castiel rubbed Meg's shoulders softly as he tried to think of something to say. "I don't know," he eventually replied, sounding defeated. He had to lie. It wasn't like he could tell Meg, /Oh, I'm upset because my mother is pressuring me to marry you, when I'm really not attracted to you and I never have been/.

Meg narrowed her eyes at Castiel and pulled away from him, sweeping her arm across the table and knocking the dishes and food to the ground before she turned and began to walk out. It was a good thing they were in a private room, or else they would definitely be getting plenty of stares.

"Meg - " Cas started. 

"No. Leave me alone," Meg insisted before she stepped out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 

"Shit," Castiel mumbled to himself as he bent down to begin cleaning up the broken dishes. 

Angela, Meg's personal valet, knelt down beside Cas to help him clean up the mess. "Go, Castiel. I'll clean this up," she said, a touch of bitterness in her tone. 

Castiel sighed heavily and stayed there for a moment longer before standing up and dusting his hands off. "Alright. Thank you, Angela." 

There was no reply, so Cas just left, taking a deep breath and trying not to feel so awful. He stepped onto the deck and went over to the railing, his elbows resting on the cold metal, and his chin in his hands. He sighed and looked out at the water. It looked so different during the day than it did the night before. The water looked much less threatening. 

Castiel stood there for a while, just staring down at the water, when someone snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Boo!" the voice said.

Castiel let out a startled gasp, and then turned to face the culprit. Dean. Of course. "Don't do that! You scared me!" 

Dean grinned one of those cheeky grins that made Castiel want to smack him and hug him at the same time. "Yeah, Cas. That was the point."

"Oh," Cas said with a roll of his eyes, a small smile on his face. They were quiet for a moment before he turned to Dean again. "You're not even supposed to be up here, on the first class deck," he said, lowering his voice. "You're going to get in trouble." 

"I was up here last night with you," Dean argued. 

Castiel shook his head. "Well, that was different. There was no one around." Now that it was daytime, people were strolling around, and a few of them were giving Dean some odd looks. Cas was sure they weren't trying to be rude, Dean just didn't look like he belonged. 

Dean shrugged. "I'm not worried. So you shouldn't be either." 

"Fine," Castiel huffed, looking back out at the water again. "What are you doing here?" 

"I wanted to see you," Dean said with a smirk, scooting closer to Castiel and raising an eyebrow at the other boy.

Castiel immediately felt his face redden. He knew that there were men out there who were attracted to other men, and he knew that he, himself was one of them. And he figured Dean was too, but he didn't know that there were people out there who were so...open about it. Cas had kept that secret his entire life, and he planned on never letting it spill. And here Dean was, acting like there was nothing strange about what he was doing. Dean was peculiar. "Why? Why did you want to see me, Dean?" he asked, turning to face Dean completely and furrowing his brow.

"Because," Dean said, taking his voice up a few notches and batting his eyelashes at Castiel. "You have such pretty eyes," he said, puckering his lips.

Cas couldn't help but laugh. "You're an idiot," he said, though he felt his heart swell with the compliment. 

Dean shrugged and smiled, his eyes not leaving Castiel for a second. "So are you. You wanted to see me too. We both know that." 

"Are you always this brash?" Castiel asked with a breathy chuckle. "And what makes you think I would want to see a pushy, arrogant boy like you? What makes you so special?" 

"Well," Dean thought about that for a moment before a smile spread across his face. "I do have this one special ability." 

Castiel smiled. "Show me." 

Dean's smile grew wider, and then he began to hack. It sounded like he was coughing, except...more disgusting. 

Castiel's brow furrowed. "Ew, Dean! What are you doing?" 

Dean just held up a finger to tell Cas to be quiet, then he spit. Cas watched as the spit landed in the ocean, and then he turned to Dean, an appalled expression on his face. "That's your special ability? Spitting? Anyone can do that." 

Dean raised an eyebrow at that and smiled. "Oh really? Then you do it. Go ahead." 

"Fine," Castiel said, taking a deep breath before he spit. His was nothing compared to Dean's. It just dribbled down his chin and Cas had to wipe it off with his sleeve, his cheeks red. 

Dean chuckled softly and shook his head. "Rookie. Try again, but really go for it this time." 

Castiel laughed and rolled his eyes, but he did as Dean instructed, hacking just like Dean had. He felt like a child again, and he couldn't keep the grin from his face and the laughs from escaping his mouth. When he finally spit, it actually landed in the ocean. "I did it!" he said excitedly. 

"There you go!" Dean praised, clapping Cas on the back. "Now try one more time, but really hack it up. Get into the back of your throat and just do it. Make it gross," Dean said as he began to do just that.

Castiel was doubled over laughing. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He was about to get married into one of the wealthiest families in America, yet here he was, spitting with a third-class boy. 

Castiel's laughter immediately stopped when the last people he wanted to see began to approach. Naomi, all her hoity toity friends, and worst of all, Meg. And as if that wasn't bad enough, poor Dean didn't even see them approach, so he carried on doing exactly what he'd been doing, which was hacking. Cas could see the disgusted looks on the women's faces, so he quickly tapped Dean on the shoulder to make him aware.

As soon as Dean saw everyone, his face fell and he swallowed, wiping his mouth off and trying to play it cool. 

"Mother, this is Dean Winchester. He'll be joining us for dinner tonight. Dean, this is my mother, Naomi," Castiel said, his face as red as a tomato.

"Pleased to meet you," Dean said with a nervous smile, tipping his hat at the elegant woman. 

Castiel bit his lip and rubbed his hands together anxiously. "And you remember Meg, right Dean?" 

Dean nodded quickly. "Oh yeah." 

Castiel just wished he could be done with these awkward introductions. The women were all eyeing Dean like he was some type of vermin, and it was making Cas pretty angry. "And these lovely women are some of my mother's friends, um, Molly, Ruth, and Charlotte." 

Dean tipped his hat at the three of them as well, and Castiel just stood there, blushing profusely.

"We're going to go get dressed for dinner," Naomi eventually said, breaking the silence and turning around. "Castiel, please don't dilly dally. I wouldn't want you to be late again," she said as she walked away.

Once they were out of sight, Dean exhaled in relief. "Your family is really scary." 

Castiel just nodded his head and sighed. "You have no idea.". He turned to look at Dean and frowned at his outfit. "What are you planning on wearing tonight?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Um, I was thinking...this," Dean said, looking down at his outfit. 

Castiel raised his eyebrows and shook his head several times. "You won't be allowed to set foot in the saloon if you're wearing something like that." Dean was wearing a pair of worn, light brown pants, a dark brown, long sleeved shirt, suspenders, and an ivy cap.

Dean shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to do, Cas. I don't have anything nice." 

Cas bit his lip for a moment, thinking. "You're not that much taller than me, right? Maybe one or two inches?" Cas mumbled, talking mostly to himself as he sized Dean up. "Yeah, you can probably fit my clothes. Come on," he said with a smile, grabbing Dean by the sleeve and pulling him along. 

***  
"What is he doing here?" Meg whispered to Cas, a frown on her face.

Castiel just sighed. Dean was currently in the bathroom, changing into one of Castiel's suits. "He needs something nice to wear tonight."

Meg scoffed and shook her head, glancing at the closed door of the bathroom. "Castiel," she lowered her voice, "he's probably going to steal from us or something." 

Castiel's jaw dropped and he shook his head. "Wow, Meg. I knew you were shallow, but I didn't know you were this shallow." 

Meg just rolled her eyes and stood up, walking to the other side of the room so she wouldn't have to sit near Cas. "Well, you're an asshole." 

Just then, Dean stepped out of the bathroom, and Castiel's heart stopped for a moment. Dean looked...he looked amazing. 

"Oh," Castiel said, his blue eyes wide and his heart pounding. "You - You do clean up nicely," he said, his eyes glued onto Dean as he stood up. "Wow." It suddenly hit him that he'd never looked at Meg with the desire that was in his eyes when he looked at this man. But he didn't want to think about that right now. Now, he just wanted to focus on Dean.

"I guess I do, huh?" Dean stood in front of the full length mirror and smiled at his reflection. 

Castiel nodded and ran his hands over Dean's sides, feeling how the suit fit him. "It fits you better than it does me." 

Dean chuckled softly and looked himself up and down. "Thanks, Cas." 

"It's no problem," Castiel said with a smile, smoothing the fabric of the suit and primping Dean to make him look even more perfect. "Now you just need to go back to your room, wash up, and do something to your hair..." Castiel said, brushing a few stray strands of Dean's hair away from his face. 

"Yes. Goodbye Dean," Meg said suddenly, standing up and causing Cas to jerk his hand away from Dean. "Don't be late to dinner."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Meg and nodded. "Right. Okay," he said, clearing his throat as he began to make his way to the door. "Thanks again for the suit, Cas." 

"My pleasure - " Cas started to reply, but Meg cut him off. 

"You can't keep that suit, by the way," Meg said, her lips pursed as she watched Dean leave. 

Dean nodded. "Uh, yeah. I know. See you two at dinner," he said before he hurriedly left. 

As soon as the door closed, Cas turned on Meg. "What was that all about? Where have your manners gone?"

All Meg did was narrow her eyes at Cas and march to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her. 

***  
Usually Castiel hated these group dinners, but today, dinnertime couldn't come fast enough. He was excited, but a little nervous for Dean. There would be a lot of people there. A lot of rich, judgmental people, and he wasn't sure how well Dean was going to do. Up until this point, though, he had done very well under pressure, so Cas wasn't too worried. 

He made his way down the stairs, Meg holding onto his arm and walking with him. Cas knew that Meg wasn't fond of Dean, but he still wasn't sure what had made her so upset earlier. He was still trying to figure that out. 

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Castiel's eyes landed on him. Dean. If Cas thought he looked gorgeous before, he looked breathtaking now. Cas walked over to Dean with a smile, pulling Meg along with him. "Your hair looks great. And you smell good too," Cas complimented with a grin. It was true. Dean's sandy blonde hair was slicked back, and he smelled faintly of cologne. 

"Why thank you," Dean said, a smile on his face and his eyebrow raised. 

"Come /on/, Castiel," Meg urged, yanking on Castiel's arm. 

Castiel sighed and kept his eyes on Dean. "Just follow us. God, you look amazing. So different. I can't get over it," he said with a short laugh.

"Yes, it's a shame he can't afford to wear anything except rags," Meg said, glaring at the two of them before pulling Cas away from Dean and into the saloon. 

Castiel's jaw dropped and he turned to look at Meg, shaking his head in disbelief. "I am appalled at you." 

Meg just rolled her eyes and huffed, but she immediately turned on a smile when they reached the table, pulling away from Cas and going to greet everyone. 

Castiel sighed and turned around to make sure Dean hadn't gotten scared and run away. "I'm so sorry about her," he said quietly. 

Dean shrugged and shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It's fine." 

Castiel nodded, though he still felt bad. He took Dean's arm and led him closer to the table before smiling. "Excuse me everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Dean Winchester." 

One of the ladies raised an eyebrow. "Dean Winchester of the Westchester Winchesters?"

Dean laughed nervously and shook his head. "Ah, no. Just plain old Dean Winchester." 

Cas supposed that Dean must've been very nervous. After all, who wouldn't be? But Dean never let it show. It was quite impressive. 

Once they'd all settled down at their seats, everyone turned on Dean. Cas wasn't surprised. They always did this when meeting new people.

One of Naomi's friends, Ruth, narrowed her eyes at Dean. "So, what do you do for a living?"

Dean smiled a little. "Very good question. I'm an artist." 

Ruth raised her eyebrows, looking impressed. "Wow. You must be quite successful if you can afford to be on this ship." 

"Hm..." Dean chuckled softly. "Successful isn't the word I'd use to describe my work. But it's alright. I take life as it comes. No artists really become famous until after they're dead anyway." He laughed. 

There was an awkward silence before Ruth spoke up again. "But you have another job, right? How do you make money?"

"Like I said, I take life as it comes. I get odd jobs here and there, and things always work out for me. In fact, I won tickets onto this ship by a lucky hand at poker," Dean said proudly, smiling. "I like traveling. I like seeing what the world has to offer. I don't believe that you need to have a home, or a ton of money to be happy. I've got air in my lungs, clothes on my back, and my brother. That's all I really need." He glanced at Cas and winked. "And the clothes part is debatable." 

Castiel blushed deeply and occupied himself by eating his food and avoiding eye contact with Dean. 

One of the men, Warner, furrowed his brow at Dean. "And this kind of...rootless living is fulfilling to you?"

Dean nodded several times. "Oh yeah. I'm a free bird. Been on my own since I was seventeen. I love life, and I've learned how to make it count. You never know what the next day is going to bring. Just a few days ago I was sleeping under a bridge, and now here I am, eating dinner with you fine people," Dean said, raising his glass and grinning. 

There were light chuckles from everyone at the table, and Cas looked across at Dean and smiled fondly. "Well said." Dean was an interesting guy, that was for sure. He had a way of living and a mindset that was almost unheard of to Cas. His family was all about planning. There was no spontaneity, no excitement, no fun. Here Castiel was, with family, friends, plenty of money, clothes, and other things. And he was depressed. And there was Dean, with only his brother, a few outfits, and a pad of paper, and he was the happiest man Cas had ever met. It was strange the way life worked. 

***  
Some time later, everyone was done eating, and dinner was coming to a close. After everyone was done interrogating Dean, the conversation moved onto business and money, things that Cas just wasn't interested in. 

"Dean, the other men and I are going to go have a smoke. Would you like to join us?" Castiel asked, silently pleading that Dean would say yes. He hated having to stand around in that smoke-filled room with a bunch of old men, listening to them complain about their wives and brag about their money. 

Dean shook his head and smiled, standing up. "Thank you, but I have to be going." He nodded at everyone, still smiling that charming smile of his. "Thank you all again for having me. I had a great time."

Castiel sighed softly and frowned a little. Oh well. As Dean began to make his way out, he stopped by Castiel's seat and slipped him a little note. Then he was gone. 

Castiel's eyes widened and he smiled a little. Dean made him feel so...alive. So rebellious. He wondered if this was how Dean felt every day of his life. 

"What is that?" Meg asked, her voice startling Cas out of his thoughts. 

"What?" Castiel tucked the note into his pocket.

Meg scowled. "That note. Dean just handed you a piece of paper. Tell me what it says."

Castiel looked directly into Meg's eyes and shook his head, smiling a little. "Sorry darling. I don't know what you're talking about."

***

The note stayed in Castiel's pocket until he was in the room with all the other men. They were all focused on their cigarettes and their conversations, so no one was paying attention to Cas as he pulled a small, yellowing piece of paper out of his pocket and opened it. He smiled to himself and bit his lip when he saw what was written.

'Make it count. Meet me at the stairs.' 

Castiel felt inflated. He felt like he'd been asleep all his life, and someone had just come along and woken him. His heart was pounding and he felt giddy as he excused himself, said goodnight to the other men, and headed to the stairs at the entrance of the saloon to meet Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me really happy. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel had a skip in his step and a grin on his face as he walked over to the stairs. He smiled and waved at everyone he passed, a light feeling in his chest as he walked. God, he was happy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree and satisfied. It was truly an amazing feeling. 

When he reached the stairs, he saw Dean standing at the top, leaned against one of the pillars and waiting for him. 

Castiel picked up the pace, taking the stairs two at a time and laughing at how childish he felt before he reached Dean, grabbing the other man's forearms and smiling at him. "Where are we off to?" he asked excitedly, a twinkle in his eye. He didn't know what Dean had in store for them, but from what he knew of Dean, it was going to be something exciting and new and special. 

Dean just winked and smiled a little, taking Castiel's hand and leading him along as they walked down the hall. "You'll see," he said, intertwining their fingers and tugging Cas along. 

Cas blushed when Dean held his hand, and he chewed on his bottom lip nervously. He didn't want to overthink this. It felt right, so he was going to go along with it. He was trying to do his own thing for once in his life. "Everyone at dinner really liked you," he said as he walked down a hall with Dean, and then down another flight of stairs.

Dean just snorted in amusement and shook his head. "Nah, they thought I was insane. But it's okay. This world needs a little more insanity."

Castiel chuckled and rolled his eyes as they walked. "You're not insane, Dean. You're just different. In a good way."

Dean looked over at Castiel and grinned. “I’ll take it,” he said as they walked down yet another flight of stairs and another hall before reaching a door that Castiel had never seen before. He could hear loud music coming from inside, so loud that the ground where he stood felt like it was shaking.

“What is this place?” he asked, his heart pounding as Dean pushed open the door and led him inside. His jaw dropped and he looked around in awe. “Oh...wow,” he said in amazement. This was a party. And it wasn’t like those galas that his mother always dragged him to. This was a real party. With smoking and alcohol and music and women wearing tight dresses and men without ties. People were drumming and blowing on bagpipes, and the music was upbeat and light and bouncy and it made Castiel feel inflated.

Dean just grinned and began to dance, moving his feet to the rhythm of the song, his heels click-clacking on the hard floor. He held out his hands for Castiel to join him, but then a young girl - maybe about eight or nine - took his hands instead. Dean just laughed and shrugged at Cas, beginning to dance with the girl, spinning her around and around.

Castiel just laughed and sat down at a table with a few other men, smiling when someone poured him a drink. God, everything was so different down here. A guy could get used to this kind of freedom. Cas took a sip of his drink, his heart full as he watched Dean dance with the little girl. However, his smile quickly turned into a look of confusion as Dean pressed a kiss to the back of the girl’s hand, and saw her off before holding out a hand for Castiel. 

“Your turn,” Dean said, grabbing Cas’s hand and pulling him up out of his chair. 

Castiel’s eyes widened and he shook his head adamantly, his cheeks red as he looked around nervously. “What? Dean, absolutely not. We can’t dance together! What if someone sees?” 

Dean just shrugged. “They’ll just think we’re messing around. And everyone here is too drunk to care anyway. I could kiss you right now and no one would bat an eye.” He winked as he began to dance, and Castiel’s blush grew deeper. 

“But I don’t know this dance! I’ve never even heard this type of music before!” Castiel complained, trying to keep up with Dean as the other man skipped around, pulling Cas along with him. 

Dean just laughed. “You’re so tense. No one cares if you know the song or not. Just go with it, Cas!” 

Castiel nodded and looked down at Dean’s feet, trying to mimic his movements. Eventually, he got the hang of it, and within minutes, he was laughing and skipping and dancing his heart out. 

“There you go!” Dean said with a grin as they danced. He stopped for just a moment, walking over to the big stage in the middle and stepping up onto it, tugging Cas behind him. “Ready to show everyone what you’ve got?” 

Castiel’s eyes widened and he shook his head in protest, but for some reason, he followed Dean on stage anyway. “Oh Dean, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Castiel said, taking a deep breath as he began to dance. 

Dean grinned, dancing with Castiel, their feet moving faster and faster as the music picked up. “Are you having fun?” 

Castiel nodded, closing his eyes as he continued to dance. The grin on his face was so wide that his cheeks were hurting. “Look at us, Dean! This is insane, what we’re doing!” he said with a laugh, his eyes still closed as he moved his feet. His ankles were aching and his feet were sore, but he didn’t care one bit, because he felt more alive than he could ever remember feeling. Before he knew it, the song ended, and he stopped dancing and opened his eyes, almost immediately stumbling into Dean’s arms. 

Dean furrowed his brow, obviously worried. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, searching Castiel’s face to try and figure out what the problem was.

Castiel looked up at Dean and nodded, his cheeks rosy as he laughed. “I’m /amazing/, Dean,” he said with a carefree laugh. “I just think I’ve danced my feet raw.” 

“That happens,” Dean said with a chuckle, helping Castiel off the stage, and draping an arm over his shoulders to help support him. As they made it down onto the floor, someone bumped into them, spilling their drink all over Castiel’s shirt. “Hey man, watch where you’re going!” Dean yelled after the guy, still holding onto Castiel with one arm.

Maybe it was because Cas felt amazing, or maybe it was because he was a little drunk, but whatever it was, it made him feel like nothing mattered. Which was a surprisingly good feeling. “Dean, it’s okay,” Cas said with a laugh.

“It’s okay?” Dean asked with a half-smile, looking down at Cas.

“It’s okay!” Cas exclaimed louder, laughing. “I’ve never felt so alive,” he said, his cheeks rosy and his blue eyes sparkling. God, if he could, he would disappear into this world Dean introduced him to, and never return. He would forget all about Meg and his mother and everything that had been weighing on him. Money truly could not buy happiness. He looked down at his suit, which was now stained with the dark liquid, and laughed even harder. “Look at me, I’m a mess!” 

Dean smiled and took Castiel’s hands, beginning to dance with him again. “Isn’t it fun to be a mess?” 

Castiel nodded and began to dance on his sore feet, unable to wipe the smile off his face. “Definitely.” 

A man walked by with a tray of drinks, and offered one to Castiel and Dean. Dean politely declined, but Cas took one and drank down half of it in one go. 

“Woah, Cas, calm down,” Dean said with a laugh, looking at Castiel fondly. 

Castiel blushed slightly and looked at Dean. “It’s just really good. Far better than what Meg allows me to drink. What is this stuff, anyway?” he asked, holding the glass up to look at the amber liquid.

Dean squinted his eyes to look at the drink. “Looks like whiskey. Meg doesn’t let you drink whiskey? Damn, Cas, she’s really got you tied up.”

“Not anymore,” Cas said with a grin as he swigged down the rest of his drink, hissing at the strong flavor and shaking his head. “Whoo! Good stuff,” he said, setting the glass down on a table rather loudly. 

Dean chuckled softly and looked into Castiel’s blue eyes. “You’re somethin’ special, Cas,” he said with a soft, almost regretful sigh.

Castiel felt his cheeks heat up and he gave Dean a lopsided smile, looking away and laughing softly to himself. He felt like a giggling schoolgirl. And it was a good feeling. “What time is it?” he asked, glancing back up at Dean and raising his eyebrows. 

Dean tore his eyes away from Cas and looked down at his watch. “Almost half past nine.” 

Castiel’s smile faded and he ran his fingers through his hair. “I should be getting back. Meg will be furious if I dawdle any longer.” 

“Hey, don’t be sad. We’ve got several more days on this ship, hm? We can do this again sometime,” Dean promised, giving Cas a warm smile and taking his wrist as they began to make their way to the door. Dean pulled Cas into the dark corner by the door and looked at him. “Once we leave this room, it’s back to the real world,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” Castiel said, his heart pounding as he swallowed hard. What was Dean doing? Hopefully he wasn’t doing what Cas thought he might be doing. That was just...wrong. Sure, Cas had thought about men from time to time, but during confession, he was told that it was okay to think those thoughts, just as long as he didn’t act upon them. He didn’t want to end up in hell, and he was sure Dean didn’t want to either. But oh...his lips were so plump and pink and soft-looking, and he was such a gentle, intelligent man...it was going to be difficult to resist. But Cas couldn’t. He was /engaged/, first of all. And Dean was a man. The whole situation was perverted and wrong on so many levels, yet he found himself frozen as Dean leaned in. Castiel’s eyes widened, and at the last moment, he turned his head to the side, causing Dean’s lips to land on his cheek instead of his lips. He exhaled in relief. That was close.

“Okay,” Dean said as he pulled away, seeming to get the point Cas was sending across. “Well - I - uh, it was nice dancing with you tonight. Hopefully we can see each other again.” He smiled. “Do you want me to walk you back to your room?” 

Castiel’s face was as red as a tomato. He shook his head quickly and rubbed his hands together nervously. “No, no, that’s quite alright. I can manage. You, stay. Enjoy yourself. I’ll see you,” Cas said with a small wave before he ducked out of the room and escaped through the door, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. What had he done? He'd almost kissed a man, just then! He was sick. Something was wrong with him.

His chest was tight as he picked up the pace and began to run far, far away from that room. But God, he could still hear the music pounding in his skull. He clamped his hands over his ears as he ran, up the flights of stairs and down hallways until he reached his floor. He leaned against the wall and caught his breath, closing his eyes and sucking in deep breaths through his mouth. 

“Oh my,” he sighed, pressing a hand against his forehead as he began to walk down the hall to his room. Once he reached it, he unlocked the door and stepped inside, stopping in his tracks when he saw Meg and her maid Angela sitting there, as if they were waiting for him. “What’s going on?” he asked.

Meg cleared her throat and stood up straight, smoothing her nightgown as she looked at Castiel. “Darling, is there anything you’d like to tell me?” 

Castiel felt his chest tighten up again, and he shook his head too quickly. “No.” 

“That’s interesting, because I saw you leave after dinner, so I told Angela to follow you. She says that you were at a third-class party. And not only that, she says you were dancing with...with a /man/. Dean Winchester.” Meg spat out the words like they were poison. “I also assume that’s where you ruined your best suit,” she said, noticing Castiel’s stained outfit. 

All the color drained from Castiel’s face and his heart rate picked up, his hands cold and shaky. “Meg, honey, I can explain - “ he started, but was cut off by Meg slapping the side of his face, hard enough to leave a red mark.

“Don’t explain!” she yelled after she hit him, her own eyes becoming wet. “You’re disgusting,” she muttered, her bottom lip trembling as she took a step back. “If I see you with Dean Winchester again, this won’t be our little secret anymore. I will make sure /everyone/ knows, and I’ll find a way to get Winchester thrown off this ship,” she hissed before turning on her heel and climbing into bed. “Change out of that outfit and clean yourself up, why don’t you? You smell like alcohol and smoke,” she grumbled, turning on her side and facing away from Cas. 

Castiel just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Meg knew. She fucking knew. He felt sick to his stomach. He ignored Angela’s dirty looks and stumbled into the bathroom, shutting the door and kneeling in front of the toilet, trying not to lose his dinner. He had to stop seeing Dean. Seeing Dean had always been inappropriate, but even more so now that Meg knew that the nature of their relationship wasn’t that simple. Was it that obvious that they weren’t just friends? Cas thought about two of the rich, uptight men from dinner dancing together, and he almost laughed. Men didn't dance together. That just didn’t happen. He and Dean must’ve looked very strange out there. 

Cas sighed and stood up, his stomach still churning, but not as badly as it had been before. He looked in the mirror and pressed his fingers against his cheek, which was steadily becoming redder. He knew he deserved it, and he felt bad. Cas couldn’t imagine how Meg felt. 

He frowned at his reflection and pressed his hand against the glass, trying to cover up his face. He didn’t even want to look at himself. Dean Winchester was corrupting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally coming back to this story! Thanks to everyone who stuck around :)


End file.
